Ep. 10: ReTHUGliQans: Angry with GAWD, Jealous of Male Seahorses
Everywhere we look, ReTHUGliQans fume on and on about what we, as women, do with our pregnancies.
I have concluded that they are furious with GAWD. In fact, ReTHUGliQans are downright mad as hell at their God.
Let me tell you about the very first time I said that to a ReTHUGliQan.
Picture it. 2005. San Jose, California. I was having lunch with a county elected official acquaintance of mine.
All of a sudden, this rotund, white ReTHUGliQan comes up to the table. Pretty soon, he verbally came after me regarding abortion.
So I did a little verbal juijistu. He had no idea who he was talking with.
This wonderful little smirk slid across my face as I told him that that his argument, his anger was actually with GAWD. He looked at me all bugged eyed. “What do you mean my argument is with God?!”
I just loved telling him that he finally understood that he failed to have God’s trust regarding decision-making when it came to pregnancy. “God simply didn’t trust you.”
His facial expression, his eye popping out of his sockets as his jaw dropped to the floor was just priceless!
Today – 17 years later, I would add a bit to that, and this is how I let them know that they’re just eaten up with dumbass jealousy of tiny male seahorses.
That would solicit some kind of dumb response providing a great opening to continue.
The Great Divine of Creator of All That Is took one look at what happened with male seahorses and said, oh, no. Bad idea.
For many of us who are good cooks that would, of course, include yours truly, ‘cause I am a very good cook, we’ll try a new concoction.
Sometimes, it’s really fabulous. Delicious! Wonderful. Everybody loves it, and you can’t wait, you know, to cook it again.
Other times? (chuckle) Ahhhh, not so much.
That, I believe, may have happened with the whole male seahorses carrying the pregnancy. Male seahorses give birth up to 2000 baby seahorses at a time. However, only a handful, literally only a handful, survive to adulthood.
For those ReTHUGliQans who are mathmatically-challenged I would very kindly inform them that is a really really really low percent.
Maybe that’s what happened. GAWD said, “Uh, yeah, not making that mistake again.”
Of course, the ReTHUGliQans’ current behavior is proof positive in the wisdom of this Divine Order with us humans.
Imagine how humiliating it must be inside the minds of these ReTHUGliQans when you let them know that the God to whom they pray trusted teeeeeeeny tiny male seahorses but not them.
Tss. Tss. Tss. What a blow to their ol’ egos. Well, a little bit of humiliating can be good for the soul. Don’t you think?
To strike out in defiance of that Divine Order, however, these ReTHUGliQan politicians, their handmaidens, their financial backers, and their supporters bully women and the men and our families who love and respect us.
Of course, it’s not just us, it’s everyone – any of us who are Black, Asian, Hispanic, First Americans, Muslims, All of us non-Christians, LGBTQ, Immigrants, Students, Educators, Mother Earth, Unions, etc. etc. etc.
What are we going to do about it? Well, I’ll tell you.
Here’s another real story from which we can learn how to deal with the ReTHUGliQan bullies.
It’s about a dad teaching his sweet little daughter of about 5 years old how to deal with another little girl who was the neighborhood bully.
Now his little girl was just a sweet little gum drop wouldn’t hurt mosquito if it were sitting on her arm taking a bite out of her. A neighborhood bully, she was also in the habit of biting her.
One afternoon when the two little girls were playing on the swings, it happened again. So the sweet little gum drop girl ran home, and her dad met her at the back door, and he told her, “Honey, you go right back right now and you bite Sharon.”
And the little girl looked at her daddy. He said, “I said to go over. Now do it.”
So she walked slowly over to the swing. She said (sweetly), “Sh -Sh-Sharon, can I bite you? My Daddy said to bite you.” Then she looked back at her dad.
“I said to bite her!” and with that, she just grabbed the little girl bully, bit her, end of story.
Well, not exactly. The little girl bully screamed, crying, and ran home to mamma. And oh, my gosh. The mother was at the back door.
Dad’s eyes got really big and panicked. But the mom busted out laughing and said, “We’ve been trying to get her to stop that. We’ve tried everything in the book. Hopefully, this will work.”
And wouldn’t you know it? It did.
Now the political lesson in this is that first step in handling bullies is to recognize that they are weak. They are weaklings, and our job is find their Achilles heel and to push – hard.
When Kansas voters went to the polls and cast their ballots to protect the right to legal abortion care, that was political biting back hard in a way that makes a major difference for our lives.
This November, voting straight Democrat for every elected office on the ballot is another way to bite back hard politically from sea-to-shining-sea, as the saying goes.
Now in the meantime, not only are ReTHUGliQans stupid about biology and physiology but also stupid about history.
The bloody religious war in Ireland between Protestants and Catholics. The bloody religious wars in the Middle East. And further back in history, of course, the bloody religious wars of the Crusade compliments of the Catholic Church. All shameful, violent, and in the name of religion.
And just to ensure that we are crystal clear, European invaders came to this land without an invitation from the numerous nations that had long been established. They were already here. They had and still have their own religions and their own traditions.
None of the ReTHUGliQans are First Americans. All are descendants of or beneficiaries from those invaders to put a fine point on the matter.
In spite of this well-known history, these ReTHUGliQans will continue to bully us insisting on pushing the creation a state organized religion. They are quite proud of their vile and evil actions.
Returning back to the Kansas vote in which men and women voted 2-to-1 in that glorious victory, it’s important to understand that there was a lot of work that went into that glorious Kansas vote.
• phone banking to identify citizens who would vote with us
• going door-to-door with a neighborhood canvassing program
• registering citizens to vote
• driving voters to the polls
• putting up yard signs and talking with voters as you do
All of that is about donating time. And of course, there was plenty of people who donated funding. Both were required for the Kansas victory.
Doing the very same thing in every state, well, that’s the recipe through which we are creating the BIG BLUE WAVE!
And I’ve provided you with a couple of recipes for these actions.
Ep 3 gives you the paint-by-number recipe on how to phone bank. Ep 4 gives you the recipe for the paint-by-number yard sign and social media program. In Ep. 9, I’ve given you the paint-by-number door knocking program recipe.
We have great Democratic candidates throughout the U.S. that you can help with creating our BIG BLUE WAVE! Just go to my website – sassypoliticalcoach.com – and you’ll find links to Democratic candidates and their campaigns as well as links to the DCCC – Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee – and DNC – the Democratic National Committee – each of which give you links to various activities that you can do with them.
Look, you just have to figure out what you can do. Donate Time, donate treasure, a little of both, a lot of both.
Well, that about does it for this episode of “Hell Hath No Fury™.”
Thank you for reading!
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This is Ana Maria. YOUR Sassy Political Coach. Now go out and make Hell Hath No Fury our political rallying cry that helps create OUR BIG BLUE WAVE!
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